Between the ACS Job Offer and The Job

Shopping, anxiety, and a side pony (and an old love interest and his new girlfriend)

When we last visited the Carolla story chronologically, I’d just been offered the job by Donny. This happened on a phone call I received at my parents’ house, where I was living after moving back from New York a couple months earlier. Living once again in the bedroom I’d had since I was a child did not make me feel great about life but the job was an exciting opportunity.

I received the call in December and my first show would be in January, so I had the holiday break to get ready, which mostly meant buying some new clothes, getting my old car serviced and listening to a bunch of back episodes.

The husband of one of my good friends was a huge Carolla fan so she was one of the first people I told.

I saw her on New Year’s Eve and shared with her my concern about how to style myself. I hate shopping and honestly I hate having a body. I find all bras uncomfortable, I can’t walk in high heels for very long, I abhor hot weather because I hate my legs and my arms.

I find everything itchy and scratchy and just NO! The idea of layers where one of them is bunched up underneath the other or where the seams are lying in a misaligned fashion makes me want to rip my skin off. The idea of a crisp collared shirt under a sweater? I just can’t.

Occasionally I will find a jacket or coat I feel good about—excited about even— but that’s the extent of my sartorial passion.

I even wrote a book about this: Tropical Attire Encouraged (And Other Phrases That Scare Me). (Here is the 5th anniversary edition with 5 bonus essays). In it, there’s an essay called, “It’s Getting Hot So I’m Moving to Antartica.”

It was inspired by many things including a former Time Out New York coworker who told me she was “allergic” to sleeves.