Working My Nerves
I'm annoyed! (Plus a little morsel of ACS gossip at the end as a treat for the paid subs)
Note: This is marked as a paid post but the whole thing is unlocked except for a nugget of gossip at the very end.
In the late 90s and early 2000s, a common joke at the magazines and alt-weeklies I worked for was how frequently writers would pitch the same column idea: one in which they, “you know, just complain about stuff.”
Bonus points if it was titled “On the Rag.”
Editors never approved it because it seemed to be the lowest hanging fruit for a writer.
Although I think Sassy or Jane magazine had a column called “Working Our Nerves” which was essentially this and I loved it because I loved every single thing they did.
Anyway, all of this is to say I have no editor and this is MY Substack so here are some things of late that are working my fucking nerves.
The Price I Paid for Pet Medicine
Petey has an intestinal bug called Giardia. It’s actually an intestinal parasite but a microscopic one THANK GOD because I am super uncomfortable with worms.
But please don’t read that and decide to release worms in my vicinity if you hate me. I realize I’m probably no longer at the level that anyone would want to worm me but one day I might attain worm status again, God-willing, so I beg of you don’t use this knowledge of my Annelida-vulnerability to torment me.
Anyway, the vet called me and told me the results of Petey’s stool sample and then said they would give us a medicine called Panacure and someone else would call to collect payment.
Normally I shop around for pet meds seeing as how I am freshly poor. Usually you can get cheaper meds online or even at your regular human pharmacy depending on what the medicine is.
However seeing as how I just wanted to cure him of this butt parasite and how I was basically like OH GOD IT’S A BUTT PARASITE I just decided to get it from the vet since that’s fast and easy. They called and said three doses would be $55. Okay, I thought, that won’t break the bank.
Except then a couple days later I did a light googling and the same medicine costs $8.22 on Amazon, for double the amount, and you don’t even need a prescription. It’s basically $8.99 for double the amount at a number of places online—Chewy, 1800PetMeds—and even VCA which is not cheap only charges $22 for it.
So I am annoyed and plan to call the vet tomorrow to ask if there was some sort of mix up even though I know there wasn’t.
Anyway, if someone could please spring for an annual subscription to bankroll these overpriced meds I would appreciate it.
Being Sick for Months
We all got Covid on the way back from Japan and then about 10 or 11 days after I got it, I thought I was getting all better but instead I woke up and my throat was on fire and I wanted to die. I took antibiotics that I got through Teledoc. They worked but not quickly so I’m not sure what I had was bacterial. Then last weekend Elliot had a high fever for a number of days and I finally took him to Urgent Care where he tested positive for strep. Now Owen has a high fever but I started him on antibiotics really quickly so we’re in the process of wiping it out and/ or creating superbugs. Now I’m just waiting for Daniel and me to get it.
Having to Make 600 Phone Calls to Source my HRT
Sorry to bitch about medical stuff ad nauseam but I started Hormone Replacement Therapy back in March. My hot flashes and various other symptoms went away quickly but my period, which I hadn’t had in months, suddenly came back AND HOW.
I was getting it every two to two and a half weeks and I have endometriosis so when I get a period I really get a fucking period. Cramps and all!
I cycled through various combinations of drugs and finally landed on one that I feel good on and the periods have calmed the fuck down. Seems like an excellent time for this medication to no longer be available!
Are You Fucking Kidding Me? I thought, upon realizing I will likely lapse in my gender-affirming care and have to start back at square one again. I found it in Australia, which really doesn’t help me. At the 11th hour I found it locally but they told me if might be hard to continue getting it. So fuck me, I guess.
Taking Care of My Own Children
Where do I get off? You have kids you take care of your fucking kids. Except we used to have regular childcare and finances are such that we just can’t do it anymore so now I’m pulling double duty as a career woman by (school)day, #Tradwife by afternoon/evening. In fact I got into a little tiff with my husband where I said I never wanted to be a #Tradwife and he gently pointed out that he does the dishes and bathes the kids so arguably he’s more a #Tradwife than I am and it kind of shut me up. He does have dishpan hands.
The Mornings In My House Which Are Trying To Kill Me
What’s it like when you wake up in your house? Is it peaceful? Is it relaxing? Or do dogs start barking between four and five AM and then it’s a back and forth of letting them out to do their business and then putting them back in their crates and hoping they’ll let you get just another minute of sleep and when one finally settles the other barks and riles up the other one and then finally you just give them breakfast hoping to quiet them down but then you worry they’ll need to go to the bathroom so it’s more trips outside and then finally everyone settles down and then your five-year-old comes into your room and wakes everyone including the dogs up?
And then once you’re reluctantly resigned to being awake, everyone needs something from you RIGHT THIS MINUTE and you can’t even see because where did you put your glasses and why does your throat and back hurt and was the last time you drank water three months ago?
“Please, just let me go to the bathroom,” you say, but your five-year-old insists on joining you and playing bongoes on your butt while your brush your teeth and I know I should be able to say no but after the morning I’ve had it’s just easier to be miserable.
That Monster in France
Did you see the story in the NYT about the septuagenarian man who had been drugging his septuagenarian wife for YEARS and then letting townsfolk come over to have sex with her? 51 men were arrested out of something like 83 who raped her. The age range of the perps and the various jobs they held is vast. One of them was a nurse! The whole thing is beyond disturbing. It happened in a little town in France. I used to like little French towns. The trial is happening now so it’s been in the news. Fuck this whole thing.
Oh and there is one more complaint that is Carolla-related and it’s juicy. It’s just for paid Subscribers and it’s at the very end of this post.
I talked on my show this week about how I bought makeup and skincare from a few different excellent companies and when I went to return a few items the companies refunded my money but didn't ask me to return the items. This makes me love them so much. Note: I don’t know if this is their policy always but it’s nice to know it’s truly truly 100% satisfaction guaranteed.
Did you know I solicit product picks from my guests every week? This week, Niccole Thurman recommended this face massager.
I’m back on the Instacart train. I tried to get off but there are just times (all of them) when I cannot get myself to a grocery store and it’s so much easier to just have it delivered. Use this code for $10 off your first Instacart order.
Also, are you using Rakuten? If not you are leaving money on the table when you shop online. Truly. Here’s a code.
Alison Rosen Is Your New Best Friend APPLE SPOTIFY
Childish with Greg Fitzsimmons: APPLE SPOTIFY
5th Anniversary edition of my book! (recently released, please review it I BEG OF YOU)
My New Merch Store (some new merch is in there)
New skincare/makeup/haircare storefront
Products I Recommend (updated)
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